5 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas NOT to Buy a Gardener

With just a week to go you might be scratching your head wondering what to do or buy for your gardening valentine. I can think of a few things I’d love to receive from Mr G like a trip to the Botanical Gardens Valentine’s Day Budding Romance Walk followed by a romantic lunch. A shiny new pair of wellies with a piece of jewellery popped inside, as suggested by the Irish Farmerette’s post Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Farmers, might go down a treat too.

What I wouldn’t recommend however, is handing over any of the following five gifts if you’re trying to woo your gardening partner on this designated day of love and romance. With all the best intentions in the world, Mr G has presented me with two of these in the past and still doesn’t quite understand why I didn’t faint with gratitude. Can you guess which ones…?

1. Bulbs or Corms

You might think it’s a good idea to buy a gift of seeds or bulbs because they carry a romantic name synonymous with Valentine’s Day but your loved one might not agree. Even short-lived, a simple bouquet of scented flowers that wasn’t picked up from a garage forecourt, or a pretty container bursting with wild primrose or crocuses that could be planted out in the springtime, are both likely to go down much better on this particular day of the year.

Crocosmia Lucifer might grow into a vibrant red flower that will return year after year, but it’s going to take several months for it to get there. A knobbly corm in its infant stage, might not get you the Valentine’s Day response you desire.

2. A Gift Token

I usually rate garden centre gift tokens as one of my favourite presents and at Christmas or birthdays, you couldn’t go wrong. On Valentine’s day however, they’re a no no.

Most partners are expecting a little bit of thought behind their gift, something personal and considered and garden centres will have lots of ideas inside for you to choose from. I’m sure your gardener would be happier to receive a pair of bright red shiny Felco secateurs than a shop voucher. That said, I hope you know your partner well before you wrap up a pair of snips for them on this special day, or you’ll never know where they might point them.

photo credit: Area Fifty-One Shades Of Grey via photopin (license)

3. Saucy Dressing Up Outfit

50 Shades of Grey is about to hit the cinemas and some gardeners might like to wander around in the buff on World Naked Gardeners Day, but seriously, think twice before wrapping up a PVC devils tail, a horny little hair band and pair of bright red nipple tassels in February. Even the most hardened gardeners mightn’t take too kindly to this gift unless they have a decent central heating system.

Please, a warm and comfortable pair of bright red gardening gloves that wont get lost in the undergrowth, or a thick pair of deep red welly boot liners might be more to our liking in the clothing department on Valentine’s Day.

4. Tea Towels

Apologies to tea towel makers everywhere, but why would anyone give their beau a drying up cloth for a gardeners Valentine Day gift, even if it is printed with pretty flowers and herbs? What exactly do you expect your gardening love to do with such a present? Hopefully not dry up after the meal you’ve cooked for them. Give a gardener this gift and you may find you can’t speak for a while as you try to pull it out of your mouth.

5. A Monthly Garden Wall Planner

The perfect valentine gift for your gardener to help keep them on track with all the jobs they’ll have to do over the coming months – as if we need reminding! We have lists galore! Instead of a wall planner, why not hand write a little card with a promise to spend some time with them in the garden, helping with their outdoor chores?

Time, is after all, one of our greatest gifts…

That would do it for me. How about you? What’s the worst Valentines gift you’ve ever received?